This Father Tweets His Conversations With His 4 Daughters And It's Hilarious

More from the funniest dad in the world, James Breakwell

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    Text - James Breakwell Follow @XplodingUnicorn My 3-year-old learned to say, "Just kidding." I just wish she didn't say it after "I love you." 7:57 AM - 7 Nov 2017 646 Retweets 6,499 Likes
    via James Breakwell on twitter
  • 02
    Text - James Breakwell Follow @XplodingUnicorn 3-year-old: *hits my toes with her Little Tikes car* Me: What do you say? 3: Move. 2:57 PM - 4 Nov 2017 867 Retweets 6,696 Likes
    via James Breakwell on twitter
  • 03
    Text - James Breakwell Follow @XplodingUnicorn My 5-year-old asked me if I want to see something cool in the bathroom and I've never been more scared in my life. 5:59 AM - 15 Nov 2017 213 Retweets 3,191 Likes
    via James Breakwell on twitter
  • 04
    Text - James Breakwell Follow @XplodingUnicorn 5-year-old: How old is this restaurant? Me: It was here before I was born 5: Nothing is that old. 11:59 AM - 5 Nov 2017 353 Retweets 4,883 Likes
    via James Breakwell on twitter
  • 05
    Text - James Breakwell Follow @XplodingUnicorn 5-year-old: I don't want to go to school anymore Me: You have to. It's your job. 5: Then why don't I get paid? 12:42 PM - 9 Nov 2017 683 Retweets 5,407 Likes
    via James Breakwell on twitter
  • 06
    Text - James Breakwell Follow @XplodingUnicorn Me: We're going for a walk. 5-year-old: Is the car broken? Me: No 5: Then what's the problem? 8:34 AM -12 Nov 2017 563 Retweets 5,397 Likes
    via James Breakwell on twitter
  • 07
    Text - James Breakwell Follow @XplodingUnicorn [in the car] 5-year-old: Go faster. Me: Don't be a backseat driver. 5: Then let me up front. 5:56 AM -7 Nov 2017 410 Retweets 4,875 Likes
    via James Breakwell on twitter
  • 08
    Text - James Breakwell Follow @XplodingUnicorn 7-year-old: Can our pig have baby pigs? Me: No. There has to be a boy pig and a girl pig. 7: What if there are two girl pigs? Me: They adopt. 12:28 PM - 11 Nov 2017 704 Retweets 7,816 Likes
    via James Breakwell on twitter
  • 09
    Text - James Breakwell Follow @XplodingUnicorn 5-year-old: Boys are the worst. Me: All boys? 5: Not Harry Potter. 3:00 PM - 6 Nov 2017 4,623 Retweets 19,094 Likes
    via James Breakwell on twitter
  • 10
    Text - James Breakwell Follow @XplodingUnicorn 3-year-old: I don't want to be a watermelon. Me: You won't be a watermelon 3: Okay. Good. Now I'm going to look stupid if she's a watermelon 10:38 AM - 13 Nov 2017 ARNIA 301 Retweets 4,291 Likes WAED
    via James Breakwell on twitter
  • 11
    Text - James Breakwell Follow @XplodingUnicorn Me: How was school? 7-year-old: It was school. Me: That doesn't tell me anything. 7: It tells you everything. 12:50 PM - 2 Nov 2017 819 Retweets 6,177 Likes
    via James Breakwell on twitter
  • 12
    Text - James Breakwell Follow @XplodingUnicorn 5-year-old: Are you ever going to buy another baby? Me: That's not how you get babies. 5: Do you rent them? 12:14 PM - 15 Nov 2017 655 Retweets 6,342 Likes
    via James Breakwell on twitter
  • 13
    Text - James Breakwell Follow @XplodingUnicorn [pig loses a baby tooth] 5-year-old: Now the tooth fairy will come! Me: I don't think the tooth fairy comes for pigs. 5: She does, but the money goes to me 6:09 PM - 8 Nov 2017 461 Retweets 6,447 Likes
    via James Breakwell on twitter
  • 14
    Text - James Breakwell Follow @XplodingUnicorn I put my 3-year-old's socks on her feet in the wrong order and now everything is canceled because the world ended. 6:59 AM -15 Nov 2017 515 Retweets 6,320 Likes
    via James Breakwell on twitter
  • 15
    Text - James Breakwell Follow @XplodingUnicorn 7-year-old: How much ice cream can I have? Me: Two scoops 7: But they sell it by the gallon. 12:35 PM - 14 Nov 2017 516 Retweets 4,751 Likes
    via James Breakwell on twitter

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